By Priya Kasturi-

(Priya Kasturi is a wellness and fitness enthusiast, coach and facilitator with a passion for Vedic and contemplative tradition studies. Her global corporate career was in the Life Sciences industry in Switzerland and the US. The views expressed here are her own).
(This article is the second in the series on self-determination. Here is the first part of the article).
In the journey of self-determination using inspiration from Vedic philosophy and adapting the concept of the six-fold virtues known as “Shat Sampatti”, Shama or calmness is the first virtue. This virtue involves cultivating mental equanimity and composure, encouraging us to remain calm and composed in the face of challenges, thereby maintaining inner peace and balance.
Let’s explore this further.
The metaphor of the second arrow, derived from a well-known Buddhist story, serves as a poignant reminder of navigating life with calmness and ease. As the Buddha once asked a disciple, ‘If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful? If the person is struck by a second arrow, is it even more painful?’ His explanation underscores a profound truth: while we may not always control the first arrow — life’s inevitable challenges — our response to it — the second arrow — is within our control.
When I was let go from a company that was downsizing, I spiraled into self-doubt, repeatedly replaying the exit conversation in my mind while scrutinizing every word and gesture. Anxiety about self-worth and others’ perceptions consumed me. This, I learnt later, is the second arrow. I was piling on unnecessary narratives causing me more suffering. Let’s take a deeper look.
Life can be beautiful, yet not immune to challenges. It often lands us in circumstances we hadn’t anticipated or desired, while the very things we yearn for may be elusive. They can be mundane, petty daily inconveniences to life-altering events. This is the first arrow that the Buddha refers to, and it is inevitable.
The teachings of Sage Patanjali, the five kleshas — obstacles to happiness and peace — shed further light on the afflictions of the mind that cause suffering from the second arrow. Avidya (ignorance), Asmita (egotism), Raga (craving), Dvesha (aversion/hatred), and Abhinivesha (fear of loss) often lead us astray, clouding our minds and preventing us from living with ease and experiencing true contentment.
In the situation of losing my job, my ego was wounded. My sense of identity, primarily tied to my job at that time, began to crumble. I took it personally wondering who might have had animosity towards me. My mind was churning out thoughts stemming from egotism, attachment, and aversion.
Understanding the factors that hinder inner harmony, and applying these insights, has greatly enhanced my well-being. A Swiss multinational I worked for acquired another company, triggering assessments for potential redundancies. Amidst widespread apprehension and speculation among colleagues, I continued my work with positivity.
While some assumed my calm demeanor stemmed from assurances of a role in the new organization, this wasn’t the case. I simply chose not to succumb to speculation. In the end, the upheaval was minimal, and the negativity unnecessary.
Though I can’t know if my attitude influenced the outcome, I maintained my inner peace and balance during uncertainty and used the opportunity to acquire new skills.
When we succumb to the five obstacles, our minds are perturbed, and we act from insecurity, fear, craving, and delusion, losing our centeredness and peace. How can we avoid this pothole in daily life?
Two practices have worked for me. The first, on-the-go practice is, when faced with a situation and narratives in your mind, ask ‘Is this really true?’ Ask this question multiple times, until the situation cannot be parsed further. Then ask, ‘can I do anything about it?’ And take any necessary steps from a place of full cognition.
The second, dedicate time to regular mindfulness meditation to improve emotional intelligence (EI). EI is the capacity to perceive, use, understand, and manage our emotions guiding our thinking and behavior. While we each have our pre-dispositions, thoughts, feelings, values, motivations, and beliefs, we can come from a place of awareness.
So much more can be said about EI and numerous practices based on contemplative traditions that work on the body, mind, and spiritual factors to bring about internal harmony. The most important thing to remember is that while pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. By mastering our reactions to life’s challenges, we reclaim our agency and shape our destiny with intention and purpose. This will lead us to being in ‘Shama’.